Tuesday, April 27, 2010

If you think you miss a dose, wait till the next time to take it.

Advice I Didn't take.

Also I shouldn't drink anymore. That's how I forgot that I took my meds. And since the last time I missed my med's I had terrible withdrawl symptoms, I decided I'd be smart and take the useual dose. The terrible reveltion came when my friend Ian called and said I took my meds. It wasn't until I got to my nieces party when it all sat in.

Now I overdosed on nothing "fun". It was lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer. It's the kind of stuff that melts you brain. Like lsd but legal, works slowly, supposed to even everything out, and make me "less" bipolar. The side effects of this overdose was lack of depth perseption, dizzyness (which is an understatement), things moving that shouldn't, nausea, and fatique. Oh and paralyisis. I couldn't Move for like 3 hours.

I felt so bad, because this was my nieces third b-day, and my sister had so much trouble getting this party together. That's and I felt like an idiot cause I know:

If you think you missed a dose, wait till the next time to take it.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


So there are about a million resons I haven't written anything on here lately. FOr one,I went into a depression, which led to mixed state (thanks ritalin!). Then I went into the hospital. Which sucked cause the food is shit everyone's crazy (Duh) and they don't let you hae things, like cosmo magazine, and music. Cause those things can kill you. And cosmo can give you a bad body image, even though I'm cool with it.

Treament has taken away my self confindence, my ability to fall asleep, My over-all self esteem, and most of all my motivation. You can say it's the depression,but it's not. It's evrything else. It's the oversleeping, lack of self confidence, looking for a poin of doing anything. Last year I looked foward to alot of things, this year, I just don't care.

I look it up in a good book, but all they said was suck it up and try super hard. Try super hard? What the hell does that mean. I've been trying setting reasonable goals, but it doesn't matter when you don't see a point. It's geting better. I've been exersizing on days that I don't work, been busy getting the house in order since I've been slacking off since January. It's been hard. I'll be blogging more over the next few as I try to add this to my scedule. By te way pardon my grammer and spelling. This computer's keyboard sucks, And I'm too lazy to fix all 100 mistakes that I've made. Man I need and editor.